“As a person’s self image changes, he or she is able to put away or dispose of objects that no longer reflect who they are, and acquire or make others. Thus, where we live becomes a kind of stage set onto which our self-image is projected…The house interior for most people – unlike the structure itself – is rarely wholly fixed or finished. Like the exploration of self, the arrangement of the domestic interior is often in the process of becoming.” House as a Mirror of Self | 1995
For lighter life, we must let go of extra weight we hold in both the physical and mental spaces. I’ve been guilty of keeping things just to be reminded of a window of time. I’ve kept things that weren’t in use, things I rarely looked at. Letting go is a challenge. It can feel like walking away from memories for the last time. But in truth, with or without the items that represent them, memories persist. From memories, wisdom is born and that is what I choose to carry.
Ask yourself: Are the items around me in use? Are they active or do they sit for months? Are they taking up space where other, more useful items can find a home? Or maybe where there could be open space and free energy flow?
If you have inactive objects you can’t seem to let go of, pick them up and set them aside with other inactive objects. Allow the spaces they occupied to reintroduce themselves. Meet the space again and observe how it makes you feel.
Here are some of last week’s piles. Of course I have piles that are more dense and some that are even permanent. But I photographed these because they can be cut through fairly quickly.
Throughout the week I’m in and out of the house, changing clothes, dealing with paperwork, receipts, books, notebooks. When I’m not attentive to putting things back where they belong, I make piles. Temporary piles. The pile becomes a canvas for what’s happening in my life. It becomes a safe space, a place for things that haven’t yet made it back home.
In theory, the pile is a healthy way to keep track of the to do list. But it seems that once an object joins the pile, it becomes less visible. The pile grows, representing the tasks we haven’t finished and the objects in it start to look heavier.
So what to do? Strive for piles that don’t feel like clutter. Comb through your piles at least once a week. Restack the pile neatly or return things to their home. You’ll find in your piles forgotten ideas, unfinished tasks, overdue items and side notes. Learn from your piles.
Because we’re always accumulating, we should always be reassessing the usefulness of what we own. There should be a healthy rotation between what we bring in and what we push out. The importance of this rotation is heightened when we go through drastic changes. Things we once couldn’t live without might start to look and feel outdated, reminiscent of our younger, less wise selves. We might suddenly want to replace everything with what better reflects who we’re becoming. Continue reading
Get to know the room. Get to know its textures and respond with what it makes you feel.
Place the chair where it feels right. Leave it there for as long as it feels right. If the placement does not sit well with you, don’t be silent about it. Start dialogue. Move the chair. Move it until both you and the chair agree.
This is how to grow a relationship with the room and objects you keep in it. You love the chair for its function, look, comfort and company. The relationship is one of patience and understanding. If the relationship begins to change, if ever you and the chair can reach no more agreements, you won’t be afraid to let go. you and the chair have agreed to part.
if you live with someone who differs from you in their urge to keep up the house, i’m sorry.
i know how that feels
i got through it once, twice, three times and again.
i found that the key is acceptance.
accepting people as they are. not everyone cares to have a crumb free floor. and its just that simple. i found that trying to change people was more tiring than doing whatever tasks i couldn’t get them to do.
accepting that maybe i’m just someone who’s meant to live alone.
but in the times i had to live with others, i worked to remain conscious of the actual issue at hand. the core of the issue was that i wanted an empty sink, a crumb free floor and a sparkling shower. the fact that roommate or boyfriend, or friend, or family member) felt different was just an extension of my issue. not the actual issue. sure i did many dishes i did not use. but i had of peace of mind.
five tips for the tasks you avoid
with guest writer shay mosey
do the most unbearable task first. then the rest of the list feels like a breeze.
or try to do the breezy items first. they help you gain the the momentum you’ll need once you reach the bigger unbearable tasks.
If you’re high and have no idea where on the list to start, ask yourself: what will move me forward right now? what will create a shift right now? is it paperwork that can move an agenda forward? calling the insurance people? re working the budget? cleaning the bathroom?
if you’re high and say hell no to tasks from hell because you want to enjoy your high, keep items on your to-do list that bring you joy. I like to stop and read at least one a day, write in the journal, meditate and when time permits take a hot bath or sit in the park. these things make me happy. they give me something to look forward to. so when high and feeling the need to be productive, go for the good stuff.
if you don’t get high you should still have items on your list that bring you joy, things that make you feel fresh and new. these give us the energy and vitality we need to work through the more rigid parts of life.
Though the size and shape of the moon remain constant, it looks different every time we see it. Sometimes it’s buttery crescent. Sometimes a perfect half circle. Other times it’s bold and bright and white. And still other times we can’t see the moon at all. The new moon, or dark moon, is the start of a new cycle. The dark circle grows to be a silver beaming ball, a full moon that will soon shrink back to black.
We are at all times accumulating things. So at all times, we must be making space for what’s to come.
Decluttering is a commitment. To get real results and real satisfaction, you must accept that the process is continuous. Don’t get discouraged if you remember clearing out your closet 3 months ago only to be feeling again like it’s time for another clear out. Realize that there are layers. What you weren’t ready to let go of three months ago, you might now have the courage to say, ‘I don’t need this anymore. This is no longer necessary in my life and I’m ok with letting it go.’ It will get easier to let go and you’ll get better at deciding what’s worth even bringing into the home.
As you find strength and courage to let go of what’s no longer in use at home, so too will you find strength to let go of (or at least distance yourself from) situations/people that are no longer necessary in your life.