These old houses have countless entryways for life outside to seep in. One could never cover all the holes. Ants, spiders, weevils, lizards, dare I say roaches. Most are just passing through, trying to find their way back outside. But the spiders, the spiders like to linger. They can sense which corners are suitable for building, living, eating, mating and they move right in.
First the webs are invisible to me. The spiders mind their business. I mind mine. But with time, these corners become matrices of dust and debris. I noticed within the last week or two that it was time again for me to cut through the cobwebbed clouds. Even after taking note though, I took another week to get it done.
For me, cleaning and thoughts about time go hand in hand. I took the vacuum hose to these spider mansions and wondered, when is the last time I did this? I remember the day somewhere off in the distance and the space between then and now feels like a blur. But that moment, my knees pressed into the wood, felt like a checkpoint. I checked in on the story line of my life and asked where do I stand in this story? What does my character represent in this narrative? Being honest with myself in answering that question forced me to re-calibrate, realign. The corner clearing ritual was not only physically cleansing but also gave me momentum to think about clearing cobwebs from my personal relationships. I need to ensure the channel between me and the people I deal with is clear. And sometimes that means having tough conversations.
Inevitably, life’s cobwebs will return. and as they do I welcome them as check points, as opportunities for realignment.
For lighter life, we must let go of extra weight we hold in both the physical and mental spaces. I’ve been guilty of keeping things just to be reminded of a window of time. I’ve kept things that weren’t in use, things I rarely looked at. Letting go is a challenge. It can feel like walking away from memories for the last time. But in truth, with or without the items that represent them, memories persist. From memories, wisdom is born and that is what I choose to carry.
Ask yourself: Are the items around me in use? Are they active or do they sit for months? Are they taking up space where other, more useful items can find a home? Or maybe where there could be open space and free energy flow?
If you have inactive objects you can’t seem to let go of, pick them up and set them aside with other inactive objects. Allow the spaces they occupied to reintroduce themselves. Meet the space again and observe how it makes you feel.
Because we’re always accumulating, we should always be reassessing the usefulness of what we own. There should be a healthy rotation between what we bring in and what we push out. The importance of this rotation is heightened when we go through drastic changes. Things we once couldn’t live without might start to look and feel outdated, reminiscent of our younger, less wise selves. We might suddenly want to replace everything with what better reflects who we’re becoming. Continue reading
Get to know the room. Get to know its textures and respond with what it makes you feel.
Place the chair where it feels right. Leave it there for as long as it feels right. If the placement does not sit well with you, don’t be silent about it. Start dialogue. Move the chair. Move it until both you and the chair agree.
This is how to grow a relationship with the room and objects you keep in it. You love the chair for its function, look, comfort and company. The relationship is one of patience and understanding. If the relationship begins to change, if ever you and the chair can reach no more agreements, you won’t be afraid to let go. you and the chair have agreed to part.
if you live with someone who differs from you in their urge to keep up the house, i’m sorry.
i know how that feels
i got through it once, twice, three times and again.
i found that the key is acceptance.
accepting people as they are. not everyone cares to have a crumb free floor. and its just that simple. i found that trying to change people was more tiring than doing whatever tasks i couldn’t get them to do.
accepting that maybe i’m just someone who’s meant to live alone.
but in the times i had to live with others, i worked to remain conscious of the actual issue at hand. the core of the issue was that i wanted an empty sink, a crumb free floor and a sparkling shower. the fact that roommate or boyfriend, or friend, or family member) felt different was just an extension of my issue. not the actual issue. sure i did many dishes i did not use. but i had of peace of mind.
five tips for the tasks you avoid
with guest writer shay mosey
do the most unbearable task first. then the rest of the list feels like a breeze.
or try to do the breezy items first. they help you gain the the momentum you’ll need once you reach the bigger unbearable tasks.
If you’re high and have no idea where on the list to start, ask yourself: what will move me forward right now? what will create a shift right now? is it paperwork that can move an agenda forward? calling the insurance people? re working the budget? cleaning the bathroom?
if you’re high and say hell no to tasks from hell because you want to enjoy your high, keep items on your to-do list that bring you joy. I like to stop and read at least one a day, write in the journal, meditate and when time permits take a hot bath or sit in the park. these things make me happy. they give me something to look forward to. so when high and feeling the need to be productive, go for the good stuff.
if you don’t get high you should still have items on your list that bring you joy, things that make you feel fresh and new. these give us the energy and vitality we need to work through the more rigid parts of life.
We are at all times accumulating things. So at all times, we must be making space for what’s to come.
Decluttering is a commitment. To get real results and real satisfaction, you must accept that the process is continuous. Don’t get discouraged if you remember clearing out your closet 3 months ago only to be feeling again like it’s time for another clear out. Realize that there are layers. What you weren’t ready to let go of three months ago, you might now have the courage to say, ‘I don’t need this anymore. This is no longer necessary in my life and I’m ok with letting it go.’ It will get easier to let go and you’ll get better at deciding what’s worth even bringing into the home.
As you find strength and courage to let go of what’s no longer in use at home, so too will you find strength to let go of (or at least distance yourself from) situations/people that are no longer necessary in your life.
You might ask, why spend time cleaning up if I can function just fine in a messy house?
You may think you’re functioning just fine. You may have trained your conscious mind to ignore piled up dishes, grimy showers and toilets, crumbs on the floor. BUT your subconscious mind is still processing the mess. Think about the way a silky sunset makes you feel and compare it to the way you might feel looking at a pile of trash.
Neglecting to empty the bowels of your home tells your subconscious mind that clutter, chaos, blockage and build-up are the norm. Consequently, your conscious behavior will reflect.
Do you call yourself scatter-brained? Is it hard for you to focus on one thing at a time? Are you always losing your belongings? Does your life in general feel like a mess? If so, try to tidy up the main areas of your home: the living area, the bedroom, kitchen and bathrooms. Pay attention to the way you feel before and after your bed is made; before and after you clear your sink; as you look in the dustpan at all the food, hair and lint that you’ve been walking on for who knows how long. Do you feel better? Try to do the dishes, sweep the floors, empty the trash, clean the toilets, clean the showers and make your bed.